7 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Love An Alcoholic or Substance Abuser

Do you feel exhausted from loving someone suffering from addiction? Are you worried about the one you love so much your heart hurts? Are you wondering how to help them get them sober or convince them they have a problem and need help? Do you wonder if they will ever change?

When you love someone suffering from addiction, the list of worries goes on and on.

All that worrying can take a toll on our bodies.

Here’s what’s important to remember – allow yourself to crash. Give yourself the necessary space to take a deep breath and go back to bed if you need to. Sit on the couch and watch your favorite show. Sleep in. Take a vacation if you can.

If you’re tired and you’re at the gym, walk instead of run. Read a good book in a cozy chair and skip the grocery store. Order in and don’t make dinner. Vacuuming can wait until another day. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Put down the phone and don’t worry about being available to everyone all the time. Call in from work and take the day off. Take a mental health day.


We are known to work too hard. We have been responsible our entire lives. It’s okay to permit ourselves to take a break. Sit on the porch and watch your neighbors pass by.

Go to an easy flow yoga class. Download the free Calm app that will teach you how to breathe. For the next few days, just be kind to yourself. Take it easy. Take a break from the role of fixer, pleaser, and caregiver.

Do the minimum needed to make sure things are taken care of. Stay in your favorite pajamas. Cancel your plans.

Resting and being still is healing. Busyness can prevent us from feeling. You need to take a break from the chaos that surrounds you in order to find peace through the stillness.


Creating distance between you and the dysfunction allows you to take inventory and ask yourself some fundamental questions:

What do I want?
What do I love to do that brings me joy?
Am I doing what I love?
If I could fill my time with anything, what would it be?
Where do I want to live?
What’s my dream job?
What is my five-year plan?


Just take a day to imagine and get back in touch with YOUR desires. Ask yourself: WHAT DO YOU WANT? This should feel fun and indulgent. So much of your energy has been about their sobriety – it’s your turn now.


If you haven’t joined us in one of our programs and you want to find answers, hope, and happiness, what are you waiting for? Click here to check out the details. Our programs are offered for just $25.00 a month. If they are spending money on their bad habits, making an investment in your family’s future is a better choice, don’t you think?


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