In this community we teach you a lot of tools to help feel happiness and joy if he gets sober or not. We don’t believe the common theory that we’re powerless over this disease. There are many things we CAN do that will take our power of choice and confidence back from the very awful disease that steals it. We don’t just throw our hands up in the air and say, oh, well – I just have to sit around and wait for him to get sober to start to feel better. That’s not truth for us. We are strong, courageous women who will stand up to this disease. We will not let it rob us of the good life we could have.
We will not just sit back and be subservient.
Does this new found courage seem angry? No. Let’s not mistake courage for anger. Our strength is dignified. We WILL stand our ground but our without a temper
Our words will be intentional and strong. We will say what we mean and follow through. Even when fear creeps up in us and the doubt starts telling us where doing it wrong… we will press on.
And make no mistake my loves, when we take back our power of this disease, there will be a power struggle. Addiction does not want to lose. It will fight you for control. But you are a woman on a mission to save herself and her children and nothing can mess with a mother and her babies.
He might tell you that it was mean when you left him at the party so you could go home when you’ve had enough. But it’s not. It was the right thing to do. That’s just this disease trying to make you feel guilty. Don’t fall for it.
When you refuse to sleep with them after they’ve been drinking or using drugs, they might tell you it makes them feel like you don’t love them. Remain strong and let them know when they are consistently sober you would love to share a bed.
And make no mistake about it my sweet sister… the stronger you get – the less they like it. They might throw a temper tantrum, they might be little you, they might guilt trip you but don’t fall for it.
When you try to make powerful changes like you did by leaving the party – this disease gets scared. Because you are threatening its future. Addiction is used to controlling the man you love and YOU. And when one person has the courage to say ENOUGH – it will do anything to get you back under its thumb. Don’t fall for it. You’re stronger than that.
And you don’t need to announce that you’ll be changing your ways. You new strong and courageous choices will let them know. Besides, how many times have you threatened to change or to leave but not followed through? They probably won’t believe you anyways. Don’t worry about giving them a heads up or explaining yourself. Just start changing and they will catch on.
Keep moving forward. Practice making healthy choices. You can do it! I’m 100% behind you.
P.S. Join us at one of our work at your own pace programs and become a member of our secret Facebook group where the doors always open to talk about these major life changes.